It's a Monday...

So, at 8:00 I wanted to go to sleep... but I couldn't decide if that meant I was young or old... So I was defiant and stayed awake.

Also, before my accident it took a whole glass of water to make myself swallow the smallest pill... Now, I can swallow all 6 I have to take a night with the smallest sip of water... actually, I really don't think I need the sip... I really just do it for show.

I find this funny.

These were the highlights of my day.

...

THANK YOU!!!

(These are about 50% of the letters/cards/etc. I got while I was in the hospital. I'm trying to make a scrapbook of all this stuff...)

(All but two of these are animals I got while I was in the hospital... they take up my entire suitcase, and it's a big suitcase...)

I'm still in awe about all the support I've gotten during this whole... thing...

Thank you, thank you, thank you. I love you all.

Words.

I just wanted to let ya know, that even though my current situation is one the hardest things I've ever gone through, I'm happy. The last post was kinda depressing. I'm honestly happier than I've been in a long time. I have my down days, well they aren't really days, it's more like a couple hours. I believe in being happy. It's not a stretch to see how blessed I am, it's actually hard to find things that I'm not blessed in or ways I'm not the luckiest girl on the planet! Thank you all for being in my life! You all rocketh muchly.

Update.

So, I've been wondering what to write on here for sometime now...


Hmmm... so life update:
* Got a job! Woot. I've been working for about a month for USU. I work at Child Care Resource and Referral.
* Foot's fine. Nothing new. Kinda has been hurting a lot more lately. My brace is getting annoying... wearing plastic in the summer is no beuno. But, I notice how much harder things are without it. What ya gonna do?
* Summerfest was this weekend. I LOVE summerfest. Each year I always say how next year I'm going to get a booth. This year is no different... Next year, I'm going to get a booth. (I made a bag, and I got asked about it a million times. Apparently, it was the cutest thing there)
* Hmmm.... today was Father's Day... but you knew that.
* My cousin Paul got married! Jenny is hecka awesome.
* My childhood best friend, Michelle got married!
* Natalee will be home in less than two weeks!
* I'm going to be an adult soon. 21 is right around the corner. Gross.
* My family is taking a trip to Washington/Oregon/California in July!
* Really, my life is kinda boring... but that's okay.


Life really is good, but things are harder now then they ever have been. I think it's because before, I could see so much progress in myself and my situation. But now, I'm kinda stuck between the way I use to do things, and how I have to do things now. It's also hard, because everyones life keeps going on... and mine feels it's at a standstill. I don't really feel like anyone can connect with what I'm going through now. (Besides my Savior, obviously) It's hard, because I'm always asked how my foot is doing... and nothing changes. Everyone, including myself, could see so much progress before, but now I'm just waiting. I feel like people are expecting me to get better. When all I can do it wait. If there was something I could, I'd do it, but I can't. I just feel really alone in this. Everyone just assumes I'm fine.... which I am.... but it would be nice for someone to validate how sucky this is. Sometimes, I feel I'm stuck having a good attitude, because that's what people expect. I want to have a good attitude, don't get me wrong, but sometimes it just stinks. I want it to be okay that this is hard for me. I'm stuck with the loss of my old life, and I don't know how to transition into my new one. I feel like part of who I am has kinda died. I feel I have to find myself again. It can't be like how it was before. I can't go back to that. Earlier, it was easy to get lost in working towards getting better... but now that I'm about as good as I'm going to get for awhile, I feel I have all this time to compare my old life with my new. It's hard to be patient when I don't know what I'm being patient for. I hate how unknown my future is right now. The nerve could heal, but it also couldn't. No one knows. I feel I need to find a new direction to go towards, but I can't find it.


But, uh, on a lighter note. I'm really okay. Not fantastic, but not bad. I'm definitely ready for some change. It'd be nice if it was something amazing and wonderful, but I'll take what I can get. I'm really excited for school to start. The busier I can be, the happier I'll be.

I started a second blog...

 It's http://nichelle365.blogspot.com/. I'm going to try to take a picture everyday for a year!

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Hmmm... tiny bit stressed....

Pretty sure all the times I should've been sad during the past 5 months are catching up with me...

I. want. to. stop. crying. BLAGH.

Good thing I like laughing...

So... I've had pretty bad luck lately, life isn't all bad... but not so good things happen quite a bit. It's either bad, or kinda good, never great. It's quite entertaining actually. It's funny, because everyone feels bad for me, but I'm honestly super happy. I haven't been this happy in a long time. It's kinda sad that I would rather repeat 2010, then repeat 2009. Knowing that, it makes me wonder what would happen if something good actually happened. I probably couldn't handle how much happiness I'd have. I wish there was some way I could make something awesome happen, it'd be a fun little experiment.

P.S. I freaking love my family.
       My new job is fantastic.
       28 days til my 21st birthday... weird.
       My visiting teachers may put a purple streak in my hair...I haven't decided yet. Haha... kinda nervous.... If I don't like it, I'm stuck, there's no color of dye in the world that matches my hair color.
       I love summer, but I kinda want it to be over, it's more apparent that everyone can do so much more than me.
       I found out that there is such a thing as being to nice.
       I have a love-hate relationship with my new brace.
       Even though it's summer, I will either be pink or white... I can't tan.
       I miss my sister... alot.
   

I think my medicine is making me sick... again. Sometimes it feels like doctor's don't know anything. Sheesh.