Saturday, December 25, 2010


Well, it is nearing the end of 2010...

Needless to say, it's been pretty crazy.

but mostly I've prayed.

Prayed for strength to get through this year.
Prayed for strength to be positive.
Prayed for physical strength.
Prayed for my family who have sacrificed so much to help me.
Prayed for those who have blessed my life.

I'm sorry for the times I've been:

But thank you for the times you've helped me to:

I appreciate those who call me their handicapable friend, gimp and pegleg.
It helps to poke fun at my situation.
And you know me... I LOVE laughing...

I'm not going to lie, this year has been terrifyingly hard but, here's the list of my accomplishments:

Broke 3 bones in my back.
Broke 8 ribs.
Dislocated my hip.
Punctured and deflated my lung.
Heal from the above in 3 weeks.
Survive a surgery with complications.
(BTW I had 4 surgeries this year... well if you count that I'm getting my wisdom teeth out next week, that will make 5)
Only miss one Sunday of Church the entire year.
Decided I wasn't going to let a paralyzed foot stop me.
I went from my wheelchair to my walker to crutches to cane in 2 months.
Went from cane to nothing in a couple weeks.
Made my toes twitch.
Went back to school.
Got a job.

But, my biggest accomplishment is learning how to walk with a paralyzed foot.
Just kidding, now I can JOG on it!
(I look like a fool, but I can jog)

Oh no, wait...
my biggest accomplishment is being able to swallow a handful of pills with a sip of water.

I'm so incredibly good at taking pills now.

(Before my accident, I had a hard time swallowing one, so this is a big step for me)
Granted, now I'm only to a nerve pain pill and aspirin if I really need it. But back when I took 10 a day... let's just say, I should have a good medal.

I've tried to stay positive and happy.
I've tried to work hard and not let my body tell me what I can't do.

This year has been rough, but I'm glad I went through it.
I've learned a lot, and I'm grateful for it.
I never knew how many people loved me and cared.
I never knew.

So, thank you.
Thank you for your prayers and your thoughts.

Please, keep them coming.
I'm not done fighting yet.

I love you all.
I pray for you everyday.

Let's hope 2011 is less "exciting"...

With more love than I can ever express,

{aka Chelle}

{aka Belle}

{aka Nino}

Tuesday, December 21, 2010

Things you should know about me...

(This post is also on my craft blog...)

(Hahaha! This post is inspired by Little Miss Momma... if you don't blog stalk her... you should.)


I hate the sound of styrofoam. Eww. Gross.
Gives me the shivers.

I hate being the center of attention, but I'm not afraid to be.

I have a giagantor crush on these men:
Michael Buble
Jim Halpert
Jimmy Fallon
Gene Kelley
Patrick Dempsey
and "Manly" from Little House on the Prairie

I have different laughs.
One when I'm scared.
One when I'm happy.
One when I feel bad no one else is laughing at your joke.
I giggle when I'm uncomfortable.
I giggle when I'm hyper.
A 'medium' laugh when something is funny.
But then, when something REALLY tickles my funny bone...
My laugh is ridiculously loud.

I love animals, except cats, 'cause they (mostly) are icky & mean.

I love Billy Joel.

I'm destined to marry a massage therapist because my back is always in knots.

Pride and Prejudice.
I own 3 different DVD versions.
I own a hard copy and soft copy of the book.
I've read it at least 2 dozen times.

Most people think I'm out going, but I'm really shy.
I just force myself to be outgoing.

My pet peeve is when someone is picky about who they are nice to. If you want to be a nice person, be nice to everyone.

I love everyone. I love people.
Well, except for this one person, and his nickname is Voldemort.

I think people are mean to the color orange.

Oh, speaking of orange... If you ever say my hair is orange, in my mind I just punched you in the face.
My hair is RED.

I've started a food fight and a water fight at my

I don't get in trouble because people assume I'm innocent. (Ha)

My family knows better.

I refuse to watch scary movies.

When people get mad at me for listening to Christmas music early, I simply state I can't help it because I have Red Hair and Green Eyes and it's what I'm programmed to do.

I  LOVE, CHERISH ADORE my freckles.

I'm a sucker for a guy with a guitar around a campfire.

Sometimes, I cry when I watch a really cute commercial...

I've gotten a lot of torment for being a RED HEAD,
but it makes me who I am.

I LOVE new school supplies.
It's the only school supply shopping I get excited for.

I'm a worry-wart.

I didn't watch Nightmare Before Christmas until I was 20...
by choice.

I like bugs, and will stop you from killing one.

I'm obsessed with:
Disney Princesses
Picture Frames.

I think the most romantic place is in a giant field of tulips.

Apparently, I like talking about myself, because this list is getting kinda long...

What about you??!

Mucho LOVE and HAPPY Holidays!


Monday, December 13, 2010

So.... Thanks.

So, I started blogging after my accident, to start to tell my story and journey about my recovery. And, I just wanted to say thanks to those who actually care enough to come and read my ramblings. Blogging has really been a good place for me to vent and open up. Which is kinda scary for me, because sometimes I don't really know who I'm opening up to... But, I think it's good for me. I've been hurt in the past, and it's healthy for me to find ways to become more of an open person again.

That's all. Short and sweet, but I truly mean it. I'm so very blessed to be such a cared about girl.

Love you.

Friday, December 3, 2010

I'm feeling like NOT being a bum today.

So, I've been kinda a bum. So, I'm sorry. I won't be little Miss Complain-y Pants.

This post is going to be short and sweet.

Quote of the Day:
If the grass is greener on the other side, maybe that’s because you’re not taking good care of your grass.

Scripture of the Day: Ether 12:4
4. Wherefore, whoso believeth in God might with surety hope for a better world, yea, even a place at the right hand of God, which hope cometh of faith, maketh an anchor to the souls of men, which would make them sure and steadfast, always abounding in good works, being led to glorify God.

Song of the Day: Heart of Life-John Mayer

Poem of the Day: The Oak Tree by Johnny Ray Ryder Jr .

A mighty wind blew night and day
It stole the oak tree's leaves away
Then snapped its boughs and pulled its bark
Until the oak was tired and stark

But still the oak tree held its ground
While other trees fell all around
The weary wind gave up and spoke.
How can you still be standing Oak

The oak tree said, I know that you
Can break each branch of mine in two
Carry every leaf away
Shake my limbs, and make me sway

But I have roots stretched in the earth
Growing stronger since my birth
You'll never touch them, for you see
They are the deepest part of me

Until today, I wasn't sure
Of just how much I could endure
But now I've found, with thanks to you
I'm stronger than I ever knew

Thursday, December 2, 2010


So... I just got really depressed, and I needed to knock myself out of it. So I came here.

Earlier today, I was thinking about how many "favorites" happened today. It's nice how those little "tender mercies" come into your life. Now that I'm feeling pretty down, it may be good to remind myself of how I was blessed today. So... Here ya go my friends.

I wore my FAVIE shirt.
I actually got a lot of complements...
that's kinda FAVIE.

(Oh yeah, as you kinda can tell in the pic... I curled my hair. Curly hair is FAVIE. Especially in the winter, cause my hair goes pretty frizzy... that's not so FAVIE.)

I went to my FAVIE JOB.
This is what I did today. I made PAPER PENGUINS.
Yes. I know. My job rocks.

P.S. Aren't they cute?! I'm quite proud.
GIMME PAPER, GLUE and SCISSORS and I'm good to go!

Went to an IWA Meeting. (IWA is pretty much the ultimate FAVIE.)
(This pic is not from today... but these girls are amazing, I love our presidency. Sigh, heart, heart, heart heart.)

We started planning the next IWA dance.

Me and some awesome friends planned our "HONKEN" date.
It's pretty much the coolest thing ever. Don't worry about it, just know it's a FAVIE.

Alrighty, I'll tell ya. HONKEN is our little name for Honey Chicken. You see, we eat Honey Chicken when  we (my 3 friends and I) have good boy stories to tell.
It's pretty much the coolest form of Girl Talk known in existence.
BTW: Honken girls are my most FAVIE girls.

My Bestie, took me to Firehouse for my "Birthday Dinner" today. (My birthday was is July... lol)

You tie your straw wrapper in a knot and pull tight. If the knot doesn't stay that means someone is thinking about you. (Kinda silly... but still FAVIE.)
This hardly happens to me... BUT IT HAPPENED ON FAVIE DAY!

IWA Christmas Devotional.
Number B) Christmas=FAVIE
Number C) Devotionals/Inspiration=FAVIE.

'nuff said.

After IWA my bestie took me for a ride to see Christmas Lights.


Lucky Gal=Me.

They are FAVIE.

This song was played on my way to school, in my bestie's car and on my way home.

Even though it's FREEZIN' outside, whenever I hear this song, it warms me from the inside out...


I feel a little better now.

I'm still overwhelmed about school.
I'm still scared because my foot isn't getting better.
I'm scared of being depressed.
I'm scared of this time of year... A year ago was the worst thing I've ever been through... (I'm not talking about the accident)
I keep having memories of "him"...
and I just want him to go away. He's done enough damage.
I'm scared I'm going to be alone forever.
I'm tired so maybe I'm being irrational.
But, right now...
I'm just plain ol' bummed.

But, like Annie always says,

I'm really okay.

It's the little things that are holding me up right now.
So, thanks friends, for being there.
Thanks for listening.
And thanks for the quiet strength of so many of you.

If you wanna help me out, I'll accept flowers. ;) Just kidding... But seriously...

No. I just need a SMILE.
or a HUG.

What's been a FAVIE of yours recently?

What are some of your TENDER MERCIES?

I'd love to feel inspired and uplifted...

Even a joke would be FABULOUS.

Thanks friends.

Wednesday, November 24, 2010

So... I'm about to be a little vunerable...

So I read this blog, Little Miss Momma and it's pretty much my favoritest blog in the entire world. I also want everything in her etsy shop... but anyway. She wrote this completely honest, heart wrenching, amazing post about secrets. It totally inspired me. She talked about something totally personal and just put it out there, not only to help others, but to help herself. She asked others to email in their "secrets" so I did. But, I figure, it might be good to share those feelings with you guys... So, here's what I sent...


So, I read your post, and I wasn't going to share my secret... but then, I went and read your secret and felt like maybe I could. So, forgive me if this is hard to read, but I'm sure once I open this can of worms, my thoughts will be all over the place. My secret has to do with my current "trial".

January 4th of this year, I was in a sledding accident. Some friends and I went sledding, the guys decided to make a train. Me, being the social butterful I am, volunteered to jump in with the boys, they willing put me in the middle because a) this way I couldn't chicken out and break the chain, because they would hold on to me b) they promised it was the safest place. We started down the hill faster than anticipated, we couldn't react to anything, and my body was sling-shot forward and I was wrapped around a tree. I broke 3 bones in my back, 8 ribs, dislocated my hip and punctured/deflated/bruised one of my lungs. In all reality, I should've died, I should've been paralyzed, but I wasn't.

I actually was really grateful for this, is was a nice distraction from other things in my life that had hurt me. Don't get me wrong, I was sad to be bed ridden, and have to miss a semester of college, and wasn't looking forward to the long road of recovery, but I was grateful to have this to focus on instead of getting over my finace who cheated on me, stole money from me and left me. I was grateful to focus on something other than my mental recovery from something horrible from my childhood that I had just been confronted about. Having a postive attitude, and getting over these physical barriers, this, THIS I could handle.

But then, another twist to the story came. I had to go in to have surgery on my hip at the end of January. During surgery they accidentally cut my sciatic nerve, leaving the bottom half of my left leg paralyzed. Yep, you read that right, after escaping death and dodging becoming paralyzed, a surgical mistake left me with that fate, not the tree. At first it was really hard to handle, but I have so much support it's insane. I didn't know that this many people knew me, let alone cared. For the first couple months, I had so many visitors and support, it was amazing. I felt like I could conquer the world, and I slowly started adjusting to my new life. One day, I woke up and I was sick of using crutches, so I started using a cane. Then, I was sick of that, so I wobbled without it. Then, I got my brace, which makes it so you can hardly tell. I can't wear it all the time, but most people can't tell that anything is wrong with me. I got off my butt, I worked hard, and I started conquering this.

My secret is, now that the initial shock is over, and I have less support, this breaks me down. Even though, I'm a paralyzed person who can walk, I still feel inadequate. Everyone else's life has moved on, and mine is still stuck in this physically, emotionally, spiritually painful time in my life. I miss riding my bike. I miss running up the stairs. I miss wiggling my toes. No one thinks this is hard because of how much I can do now. But the truth is, it's harder now than it was during all my surgeries. It's harder now then when I couldn't touch my foot because the nerve pain was so severe. It's harder now, because I'm all alone in this. It's harder now, because people say how proud they are me, and I only see how much farther I have to go.

I'm glad I've been able to have a positive attitude, and I'm glad it's helped some people. I'm glad all the new people I meet don't know that anything is wrong. Unless my pant leg comes up and they see part of my brace and ask about it. I'm glad those who this effected, especially my close friends and family, aren't as scared anymore and can see my life is improving and almost normal again. I'm glad I'm alive.

But sometimes I just want someone to hold me while I cry and say, "This really sucks, doesn't it?"

My secret is, I'm not as strong as everyone perceive's me to be.


I'm scared to share stuff like this... but it's the honest truth.

Just be careful around me peeps... I tend to wear my heart on my sleeve...


Monday, November 22, 2010

Play. Snow. Nuns. Sleep.

"For this assignment you are requested to spend time playing."

Can I just say, I love my major. Why would I do something like Chemistry or Calculus (by the way... I scored super high on those on my ACT, so actually could of... but that's boring) when I could take classes about balancing your life and helping others... Yep. Life is awesome.
I'm way stressed. My body is worn out. I feel like I can't do anything, but life is good. 
IT'S SNOWING! It feels like Christmas! It's a weird feeling though, last time it snowed... well, you know... I almost died...

I love it. It means Christmas is coming,  but it is also getting me down. I feel I should be doing better in life than I am. I just... feel inadequate.
Also, boys suck. I don't think I'll ever be able to open up and date someone again. I talk about it, and I think about, and I think maybe I can... but I know if I ever get close I'll push them away...Stupid Voldemort.

I wish I could be a MORMON NUN. I would love that.
But, I'm so very blessed. I just have to deal with all this crap for awhile. I'm sure it will get better... but I feel a little hopeless at the moment. I love life though. I'm very blessed.

I'm ready for my foot to be better, but that won't happen soon... so i better deal with it...

I know I'm truly blessed... I'm just a little down... Well a lot down... I could use some happiness...

I'd write more...but I'm tired...

Wednesday, November 17, 2010

So, I made this bag...

This bag, yes, this one right here...
Well, you see... I made this bag.
I would like to give this bag away.
I would like to give this bag away to YOU.
Take another look, it's pretty cute...
But, you see...
There's a catch...
Let me explain.

So, I made this blog...
and in order to win my bag, you have to go to my blog.
So, if I were you, I would totally go to that blog... like... right NOW.

So, thus ended the blog post about the bag.
The End.

Saturday, November 13, 2010

Thanks for your support!!!

MY CRAFT BLOG just hit 1000 views! AWESOME! Follow my blog, and once a get 'X' amount of followers (I haven't decided the number yet) I'll have a giveaway of one of my BAGS! Trust me, they're cute, you'll want it! P.S. I'm having tons of fun with the princess accessories... I think Giselle is next... :D (Sorry, I'm too busy to post everyday, but I'm trying!) THANKS GUYS!!!!

My bags are basically a smörgåsbord of my flowers on a handbag! It's so fun! I love showing my "purse-onality!"

Friday, November 5, 2010

IWA Tribute.

I just want my foot to get better, so I can leave and go on my mission!!! I'm suppose to be halfway done by now!!!! GAAAAAAA!!!

I don't understand, I don't understand why I've been more through this past year then most people go through in a lifetime. Not just my foot, but all the stuff I had to deal with before that. I just, I'm sick of it. I want/NEED a break. I'm at my wits end!!! BLAGH!

But, I am very blessed. Honestly, I'm so grateful for institute and IWA. Especially IWA...
*Kathy, you are such an inspired leader, and know exactly what I need.
*Jessie Ann Kingsford, you've been my best friend for the past 5 years, and I love you.
*Shantell... you just make me happy and make me want to be better.
*Kieley, you are perfect, and I look up to you so much. I think you are one of the best girls I know.
*Gwen, Lori, J.Black, Tasha, Erin, JoNeale, Tami, Kelsey... You girls ALWAYS make me laugh!
*AnnaLynne, Stephanie, Shauna, Kelci, Jenna, Rachel, Catherine, Dionne, Amanda, Karissa, Janika, Liz, Rachel, Megan, Chanel and Erika.... I don't understand how ALL of you can be sooooo AMAZING and BEAUTIFUL!
*Callista and Brenna, I love you both. You both bring so much happiness to others.
Hannah, Elizabeth, Jessica F., Lauren, Katie... I'm jealous of your beauty... but don't worry, I love you anyway.
*Caity and Kennedy I'm so glad you just joined our chapter!!
*Stephanie Aagard and Shannon Guymon, you girls are simply amazing and I look up to you soooooo much!
*I'm so blessed to know all the other girls in IWA and our amazing I.C.!!!
* Janielle, you are my favoritest 2nd Counselor Buddy!!! P.S. Don't tell the other 2nd's... :) (Hannah, you are my favorite too.)
* ELISE!!!! I love you. You've helped me more than you will ever EVER know.  You are hands down, the 2nd reason I'm still sane right now. (#1 is my Savior... but... that's pretty dang good if you are number 2! GO ELISE!)

I'm not going to lie, life is kinda sucky right now.... but I'm so very blessed, and I know I'll get through it. Thank you for being patient with me. LOVE YOU ALL!!!!

(but right now, I love IWA a little more than the rest of you... Sorry!!! You're still favorite, I just have lots of favorites.)


Also, I wish it was Spring... and I wish I was in Holland right now....
FOREIGN MEN AND TULIPS!!!! (Or foreign men with two lips... tulips...) 
Just kidding... slightly.... AKA... I'm slightly kidding.

Monday, November 1, 2010

I'm so excited!!!

Click here to: GO TO MY CRAFT BLOG!!!

 I have a fun new project and I want your input!!!

Just hung out with a crazy lady.

So, while I was in my room... unable to fall asleep, this crazy lady came!!! Seriously, she was insane. She started getting Christmas decorations out! I was like, "Hey lady, that's not cool, don't you know that's not kosher!" Then the crazy lady was like, "Sheesh kid, it's been November for 3 hours!" I contemplated those wise and profound words, and before I knew it she had a nativity set up! I bargained with her and allowed her to set up a very limited amount of decorations. She whined a bit, and said, "But you have TWO WHOLE BINS FULL!!!" I persisted, "You cannot put them all out, only a couple things." She moaned and groaned, but I held my ground.

Don't believe me? I took pictures, you know, just in case you thought I was lying. Why would I lie? Santa's watching, duh.

Sunday, October 31, 2010


My most amazing-est friend Elise is having a GIVE-A-WAY at her bloggity-blog... go to:

What you'll get:
"CSN has offered me a really cool deal (well, mostly YOU get the cool deal) where they're going to give one of my fabulous readers $35 to spend at any one of their 200 stores."

What ya gotta do:
Go to her cute amazing blog for instructions!!


Saturday, October 30, 2010

Why I do what I do...

So, in my Social Work class, I had to do a Book Review. I really love this class, and I don't really consider this 'work'... LOVE IT. I don't know why you'd want to read my book review... But here it is...

I FEEL LIKE A DORK putting my "homework" on my blog, but I want you to know that I love helping people and I love my life right now. Seriously. Awesome.

I've been through some pretty tough things in my life, but I feel one of the reasons I have is so that I can bless others.

I'll highlight a few things... So you can skim through it!

While I was reading the assigned book, Days in the Lives of Social Workers, I was drawn to certain topics, or studies of Social Work. The areas that peaked my interest were Health Care Social Work, School Social Work, particularly Elementary School Social Work, Children, Youth and Family Social Work, especially Child Protective and Child Welfare Services, Criminal Justice and working with Victim Services and the impact Social Workers have on working in communities. I will discuss my feelings and personal views on a few of these topics that grabbed my attention and made me ponder and contemplate on my own views, thoughts and experiences, as I read them.

Health Care Social Work has a very special place in my life. This is the type of Social Work I would wish to be involved in. Last year, as I was wondering what direction to take my life and what career path to use, I decided to take a job at a Hospital. I knew that the direction I wanted to take my life would greatly involve people and assisting those in need. To what capacity and what way I was to do this, was still unknown to me, I could be anything from a Nurse to Social Worker, so I figured, what better way to see compassion in action then at a hospital? I worked in all departments of the hospital, from Surgical Unit to Medical Unit, Behavioral Unit to the Women’s Center. I enjoyed Women’s Center the best, and started out working in the Mother and Baby Unit of the Hospital and occasionally working in the Labor and Delivery Unit. As time went on and as the staff got to know me, I started learning all of the inner workings that made everything possible. After a few months, I was personally selected and asked to be permanently placed in the Neonatal Intensive Care Unit/Labor and Delivery Unit. This shocked and scared me, because this was the hardest Unit for my position, but accepted graciously with anticipation and excitement.

As I was reading Chapter 4, ‘Social Work in an Infertility Clinic’ in, Days in the Lives of Social Workers, I was quickly brought back to my memories at the hospital. For me, working in the NICU (Neonatal Intensive Care Unit) and L&D (Labor and Delivery Unit) was a gigantic leap from working in the Mom/Babe (Mother/Baby Unit). I was able to witness (more observation then participation because of my lack of certification for certain tasks) first hand, the pain and sorrow side of the miracle of birth. Until working in these units, I never realized how many parents lost their children, or faced drastic medical futures and trials with their newborns. Seeing young newborns in the NICU fighting for their life was a hard thing to deal with at first, and I had to change my view and understanding. Luckily for me, the nurses loved explaining procedures to me and sharing their abundance of knowledge, quickly adding to my interest and empathy for what parents had to go through.

Another area of Health Care that I found interesting in the book, Days in the Lives of Social Workers was Chapter 1, ‘Social Work in the ER’. I’m not sure if this was the best story to start the book out with, because I remember thinking, “I’m not even a portion into the book, but I already feel overwhelmed for this Social Worker.” But as I kept reading his personal account of experiences in the ER, he truly was, ‘everyone’s best friend’, like he stated. I was drawn to how much this particular Social Worker could juggle in one day. I’ve always known Social Work to be a taxing and draining position, but to have a day documented brought me to new understanding. I was particularly drawn to the cases the Social Worker described when he had to help loved ones face death. Especially, when he was helping a family cope with the loss of a young child. I am amazed by what strength he has.

I loved reading Chapter 11, ‘Elementary School Social Work’ in Days in the Lives of Social Worker. Reading this chapter made me excited about becoming a Social Worker! As I was reading her account, I could see myself doing this type of job, and doing very well at it. I’ve always loved kids, I think it is built into my genetic coding, because I also have great connection with them and very easily create a bond with them. I loved reading her account and seeing how staff and student alike trusted her completely. She was constantly running around, but you could tell she was so compassionate about what she did, which is important and vital. Because of her desire to perform well and her love for her job, you could tell that is one of the main reasons why she was able to accomplish so much with the time and resources she had.

This book, had so many stories that tugged at my heart, and made me understand how many people need this type of work, and how much good comes from Social Workers as a whole and individually.

One area the grabbed my interest, was Part 9, Criminal Justice. I found this section very interesting. I knew that it would be hard for me and very unattractive at times, because of my past and my personal experiences with different types of abuse, but I knew it would be good for me to read and better understand. I feel this type of Social Work is extremely important, but I know that I couldn’t handle many parts of it. Enough that, I know I couldn’t handle being a Social Worker in this field. But to my surprise, more compassion came than I expected. I knew some would come, but I typically feel more for the victim because I can relate, but I realized more of the depths the offenders feel.

I had the hardest time with Chapter 34, Residential Treatment for Adolescent Sexual Offenders. I know that because of my own personal experiences, and the requirements of being the representative and Social Worker for a case like this (in reference to a Social Worker for a Sex Offender), I wouldn’t be cut out for it. This made me worry and start to wonder if I could handle all of the stress and the magnitude of commitment, strength, knowledge and many other skills that are required of Social Workers. I had to put the book down. I couldn’t keep going. But then I realized, for that very reason, I could do this job. I fight for what I believe. I love mankind and human rights. I have been a victim, but I’ve turned that into a strength, and what better way to use that strength then to help others. Of course there are going to be areas that are harder for me, of course there are aspects I better relate to, but the fact is that I have talents and abilities that others can’t. As I learn to develop the special skills that are required of Social Workers, I will already have a base and foundation that can be quickly molded into a power for good and strength in this profession.

This book has helped me realize and see my strengths and my personality in different Social Work environments. I have empathy, I have inner strength, I have compassion, I have experience, I have knowledge, I have drive, I have understand that is special and unique to me, what else could be better for an early Social Worker to learn? I have learned this because of this book, because of Days in the Lives of Social Workers.

Sunday, October 24, 2010


So, you know that stage where you are half awake and half asleep... Okay... So this morning, I was in that stage and I seriously couldn't move my right leg. (My left leg is the one that's paralyzed) I started freaking out a little. Then I started imagining what my life would be like with both leg's injured, and almost started crying. Then I woke up completely and could move my right leg again. And all was well again.

Crazy huh?

So, I'm really sad, because when I woke up this morning I was really dizzy and I could hardly function, so I didn't go to church today. I felt it was safer to stay home. Plus, my body was screaming at me to take a break. (I tend to push myself farther than I should.) But, with that said, today is still awesome, because it still is Sunday.  I am currently listening/watchin', Come Thou Fount on youtube. It doesn't have to be Sunday to watch this, but it still just adds to the day. I seriously love the gospel of Jesus Christ and I feel so blessed to have it in my life.

As I was pondering my leg, after my little morning scare, I realized that having both my legs injured is probably one of my biggest fears right now. Having to deal with one is hard enough. I don't understand how some people can deal with so much, so gracefully. I'm having a hard enough time dealing with little things gracefully. I always feel silly when I feel like my life is hard. Because, honestly, I'm so very blessed. I know some of you are laughing at me because you think that I've gone through a lot, and I'm not trying to degrade what I've been through and what I've able to overcome, but in the grand scheme of things, my life isn't hard.

I just feel very blessed.

I've been Miss Little Complainy Pants lately, because I just got my 5th calling, so I thought I would stop being that and be a little better today in showing my gratitude today. I really shouldn't be sad about being busy, because it was just a few short months ago where the only thing I could do was lay in bed. I honestly was going insane, so now that I'm actually needed again, I should welcome everything and anything that people ask of me. Because, I'm very blessed that I am a) still alive and b) have the ability to still help and contribute to the world, because the harsh reality is that I should have died or been to injured to function.

So, today is the 24th, I thought I would make a list of 24 things that have blessed me this month: (in no particular order)

1. Only one leg injured
2: My cool scar from my injured leg
3. Fall colors
4. Crunchy Leaves
5. Good friends
6. My brace
7. Prayer
8. Scriptures
9. Institute
10. IWA
11. Music
12. Family
13. Callings
14.  Pictures/Memories
16. Craft Projects
17. Temples
18. Sunshine/Clouds/Rain
19.  Puppies
20. Laughter
21. Singing
22. God's hand guiding my life
23. Tender Mercies
24. Good examples around me who uplift, inspire and teach me

I wish I could write them all down, but there are so many...

Thank you everyone.

Friday, October 22, 2010

Is it Sunday yet?

Oh man, I cannot wait for Sunday. I need it to be Sunday.

I don't know what I would do without the gospel. I don't understand what I did to be so blessed...

I'm such a lucky girl. Seriously. My life is just one miracle after miracle. It's even a miracle I'm still here. And, I'm SOOO glad I am!

Oh life! How I love you!

Thursday, October 21, 2010

Voldemort. Lying, cheating, mean, ugly Voldemort.

{So, just to warn you. This is going to be an interesting post}

So, I'm about to complain about Voldemort. Because, Voldermort is stupid. Voldemort is the little pet name I gave my ex... adorable, I know.

Today, was rough. I hate when memories of him pop in my head. Oh, just so you know, I DO NOT MISS HIM and I do NOT want him back. Ewe. NO. Just NO. That's important. But, Voldemort totally crushed me. He's just stupid. We dated a little over a year, and it's been a little over a year since he lied, cheated and stole money from me... I mean, it's been a little over a year since I've been single. Which, by the way has been awesome. I'm not sad he's gone, I'm not sad we didn't work out. I'm sad I dated him in the first place. He's the biggest mistake I've ever made. I was just vunerable when we started dating, and it just got out of hand. He learned quickly how to manipulate me and make me stay. (I had tried/wanted/felt like I should break up with him MANY times, but it never seemed to work) And thus started the heartbreak.

"It has been said that time heals all wounds. I do not agree. The wounds remain. In time, the mind, protecting its sanity, covers them with scar tissue, and the pain lessens, but it is never gone."

I've never experienced more pain, then the pain that was caused by him. I would rather go through all the pain from my accident, and the pain I'm still dealing with because of my accident then to go through what he put me through again. I'd rather be completely paralyzed then to deal with him again. Which, is saying a lot, because I still cry at night when I think about how I can't move/use my foot. It sucks and I hate it, but it's nothing compared to what Voldemort put me through.

If you are reading this, and you are a jerk, stop being a jerk. Seriously, it crushes people. Or if you are thinking about cheating on someone, don't. Or if you are thinking about lying to someone, don't.

It would take a lifetime to write down all the lies Voldermort told me. They all came unraveled after I broke up with him. (Yes, I finally did it) But, as much as I hate that I ever dated him at all, I can't deny that I gave him my heart. As much as I want this to go away, it never will. It happened. But, what doens't kill you makes you stronger. And boy, I'm pretty dang strong now. All you can do is learn from mistakes. But, Voldemort, I'm so glad you are gone now. If I believed in hating people, I would hate you. But I don't, and I hope you realise one day what you did, and I hope you never do it again... especially since you are married to the girl you cheated on me with... But, for her sake, stop being Voldemort and be the guy I thought you were and the guy you pretended to be for so long.

Anyway, the moral of the story is that anyone can defeat Voldemort.

Saturday, October 16, 2010

{insert title here}

So, I've been a little overwhelmed lately. I just kinda feel like I'm about to break. But, it's a good thing that I have so many blessings in my life. Like-how there just was General Conference. (Chh-yeah) I've been trying to read over them and to gain strength over the past couple of days instead of feeling sorry for myself and being a bum. (But, I've been lazy anyway... oh well... I needed it.)

I love General Conference so much. Here are some of the things that have helped me through this week:
(WARNING: A lot of reading ahead... I obviously am not good with words so I'm sharing the words of those who have helped me...)

(Because of Your Faith. Elder Jeffrey R. Holland . Oct 2010)
"... my message today is to say that we sustain you, that we return to you those same heartfelt prayers and that same expression of love. We all know there are special keys, covenants, and responsibilities given to the presiding officers of the Church, but we also know that the Church draws incomparable strength, a truly unique vitality, from the faith and devotion of every member of this Church, whoever you may be. In whatever country you live, however young or inadequate you feel, or however aged or limited you see yourself as being, I testify you are individually loved of God, you are central to the meaning of His work, and you are cherished and prayed for by the presiding officers of His Church. The personal value, the sacred splendor of every one of you, is the very reason there is a plan for salvation and exaltation. Contrary to the parlance of the day, this is about you. No, don’t turn and look at your neighbor. I am talking to you!"

"I have struggled to find an adequate way to tell you how loved of God you are and how grateful we on this stand are for you. I am trying to be voice for the very angels of heaven in thanking you for every good thing you have ever done, for every kind word you have ever said, for every sacrifice you have ever made in extending to someone—to anyone—the beauty and blessings of the gospel of Jesus Christ."

"As Jesus said to the Nephites, so say I today:

'Because of your faith . . . , my joy is full.
And when he had said these words, he wept.'"

How amazing is that?! Seriously, how can you not feel of God's love and your individual worth. It's so easy to get caught up in things and to start feeling down and that you aren't doing enough. Well, at least for me. I always feel I should be able to do more but I don't have the capacity to do so.

OBVIOUSLY this was very important for us to remember... so I'm reminding myself again...

Fourteen Fundamentals in Following the Prophet. Ezra Taft Benson
“First: The prophet is the only man who speaks for the Lord in everything
Second fundamental: “The living prophet is more vital to us than the standard works”
Third fundamental: “The living prophet is more important to us than a dead prophet”
Fourth fundamental: “The prophet will never lead the Church astray”
Fifth fundamental: “The prophet is not required to have any particular earthly training or credentials to speak on any subject or act on any matter at any time”
Sixth: The prophet does not have to say ‘Thus saith the Lord’ to give us scripture. . . .

Seventh: The prophet tells us what we need to know, not always what we want to know
Eighth fundamental: “The prophet is not limited by men’s reasoning.
Ninth: The prophet can receive revelation on any matter—temporal or spiritual. . . .

Tenth: The prophet may be involved in civic matters. . . .
Eleventh: The two groups who have the greatest difficulty in following the prophet are the proud who are learned and the proud who are rich. . . .
Twelfth: The prophet will not necessarily be popular with the world or the worldly. . . .
Thirteenth: The prophet and his counselors make up the First Presidency—the highest quorum in the Church. . . .
Fourteenth: The prophet and the presidency—the living prophet and the first presidency—follow them and be blessed; reject them and suffer”

How blessed are we to have a Prophet. I hope that I never take for granted (or strive not to) the fact that I am a member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints and all the blessings that I receive because of the gospel of Jesus Christ.

Reflections on a Consecrated Life. Elder D. Todd Christofferson
True success in this life comes in consecrating our lives—that is, our time and choices—to God’s purposes.

“Life offers you two precious gifts—one is time, the other freedom of choice, the freedom to buy with your time what you will. You are free to exchange your allotment of time for thrills. You may trade it for base desires. You may invest it in greed. . . .

“Yours is the freedom to choose. But these are no bargains, for in them you find no lasting satisfaction.
“Every day, every hour, every minute of your span of mortal years must sometime be accounted for. And it is in this life that you walk by faith and prove yourself able to choose good over evil, right over wrong, enduring happiness over mere amusement. And your eternal reward will be according to your choosing.

“A prophet of God has said: ‘Men are that they might have joy’—a joy that includes a fullness of life, a life dedicated to service, to love and harmony in the home, and the fruits of honest toil—an acceptance of the Gospel of Jesus Christ—of its requirements and commandments.

“Only in these will you find true happiness, the happiness which doesn’t fade with the lights and the music and the crowds.”

These statements express the reality that our life on earth is a stewardship of time and choices granted by our Creator. The word stewardship calls to mind the Lord’s law of consecration (see, for example, D&C 42:32, 53), which has an economic role but, more than that, is an application of celestial law to life here and now (see D&C 105:5). To consecrate is to set apart or dedicate something as sacred, devoted to holy purposes. True success in this life comes in consecrating our lives—that is, our time and choices—to God’s purposes (see John 17:1, 4; D&C 19:19). In so doing, we permit Him to raise us to our highest destiny.
I would like to consider with you five of the elements of a consecrated life: purity, work, respect for one’s physical body, service, and integrity.

Integrity is not naiveté. What is naive is to suppose that we are not accountable to God. (WHAT NOW PEEPS?!  :P You better take that one seriously)

A consecrated life is a beautiful thing. Its strength and serenity are “as a very fruitful tree which is planted in a goodly land, by a pure stream, that yieldeth much precious fruit” (D&C 97:9). Of particular significance is the influence of a consecrated man or woman upon others, especially those closest and dearest. The consecration of many who have gone before us and others who live among us has helped lay the foundation for our happiness. In like manner future generations will take courage from your consecrated life, acknowledging their debt to you for the possession of all that truly matters. May we consecrate ourselves as sons and daughters of God, “that when he shall appear we shall be like him, for we shall see him as he is; that we may have this hope” (Moroni 7:48; see also 1 John 3:2)

This definitely helps me realise and reflect on the aspects of my life that I need to work on and focus better, and to more fully lean on God and to more securely anchor myself in Him.

Of Things That Matter Most. President Dieter F. Uchtdorf
If life and its rushed pace and many stresses have made it difficult for you to feel like rejoicing, then perhaps now is a good time to refocus on what matters most.

“We have to forego some good things in order to choose others that are better or best because they develop faith in the Lord Jesus Christ and strengthen our families.”

The search for the best things inevitably leads to the foundational principles of the gospel of Jesus Christ—the simple and beautiful truths revealed to us by a caring, eternal, and all-knowing Father in Heaven. These core doctrines and principles, though simple enough for a child to understand, provide the answers to the most complex questions of life.

As we turn to our Heavenly Father and seek His wisdom regarding the things that matter most, we learn over and over again the importance of four key relationships: with our God, with our families, with our fellowman, and with ourselves. As we evaluate our own lives with a willing mind, we will see where we have drifted from the more excellent way. The eyes of our understanding will be opened, and we will recognize what needs to be done to purify our heart and refocus our life.
First, our relationship with God is most sacred and vital. We are His spirit children. He is our Father. He desires our happiness. As we seek Him, as we learn of His Son, Jesus Christ, as we open our hearts to the influence of the Holy Spirit, our lives become more stable and secure. We experience greater peace, joy, and fulfillment as we give our best to live according to God’s eternal plan and keep His commandments.
We improve our relationship with our Heavenly Father by learning of Him, by communing with Him, by repenting of our sins, and by actively following Jesus Christ, for “no man cometh unto the Father, but by [Christ].” To strengthen our relationship with God, we need some meaningful time alone with Him. Quietly focusing on daily personal prayer and scripture study, always aiming to be worthy of a current temple recommend—these will be some wise investments of our time and efforts to draw closer to our Heavenly Father. Let us heed the invitation in Psalms: “Be still, and know that I am God.”
Our second key relationship is with our families. Since “no other success can compensate for failure” here, we must place high priority on our families. We build deep and loving family relationships by doing simple things together, like family dinner and family home evening and by just having fun together. In family relationships love is really spelled t-i-m-e, time. Taking time for each other is the key for harmony at home. We talk with, rather than about, each other. We learn from each other, and we appreciate our differences as well as our commonalities. We establish a divine bond with each other as we approach God together through family prayer, gospel study, and Sunday worship.
The third key relationship we have is with our fellowman. We build this relationship one person at a time—by being sensitive to the needs of others, serving them, and giving of our time and talents. I was deeply impressed by one sister who was burdened with the challenges of age and illness but decided that although she couldn’t do much, she could listen. And so each week she watched for people who looked troubled or discouraged, and she spent time with them, listening. What a blessing she was in the lives of so many people.

The fourth key relationship is with ourselves. It may seem odd to think of having a relationship with ourselves, but we do. Some people can’t get along with themselves. They criticize and belittle themselves all day long until they begin to hate themselves. May I suggest that you reduce the rush and take a little extra time to get to know yourself better. Walk in nature, watch a sunrise, enjoy God’s creations, ponder the truths of the restored gospel, and find out what they mean for you personally. Learn to see yourself as Heavenly Father sees you—as His precious daughter or son with divine potential.

Seriously, could this not have come at a better time?! I think more than myself needed to hear this. What a basic, beautiful truth-SIMPLIFY. What a glorious word!

Never Leave Him. Elder Neil L. Andersen

The Lord Alerts Us to Dangers Ahead

The Lord has not left us alone in our quest to return to Him. Listen to His warning words alerting us to the dangers ahead: “Take . . . heed, watch and pray.” “Beware lest ye . . . be deceived.” “Be watchful and careful.” “Beware lest ye also . . . fall from your own stedfastness.”
No one of us is immune from the influences of the world. The Lord’s counsel keeps us on guard.
Life is no spiritual picnic.

The soul that on Jesus hath leaned for repose
I will not, I cannot, desert to his foes;

That soul, though all hell should endeavor to shake,
I’ll never, no never, I’ll never, no never,
I’ll never, no never, no never forsake!
Perfection does not come in this life, but we exercise faith in the Lord Jesus Christ and keep our covenants. President Monson has promised, “Your testimony, when constantly nourished, will keep you safe.” We push our spiritual roots deep, feasting daily on the words of Christ in the scriptures. We trust in the words of living prophets, placed before us to show us the way. We pray and pray and listen to the quiet voice of the Holy Ghost that leads us along and speaks peace to our soul. Whatever challenges arise, we never, never leave Him.
The Savior asked His Apostles, “Will ye also go away?”
Peter answered:
“Lord, to whom shall we go? thou hast the words of eternal life.
“ . . . We believe and are sure that thou art that Christ, the Son of the living God.”

What a blessing of safely as assurity we can recieve. I'm so grateful for the influence, protection and love of the Savior in my life. I truly can testify that you are much happier, safer and blessed when your will is aligned with God's and if you strive to follow him in all you say and do.

The Transforming Power of Faith and Character. Elder Richard G. Scott
A consistent, righteous life produces an inner power and strength that can be permanently resistant to the eroding influence of sin and transgression.

When faith is properly understood and used, it has dramatically far-reaching effects. Such faith can transform an individual’s life from maudlin, common everyday activities to a symphony of joy and happiness. The exercise of faith is vital to Father in Heaven’s plan of happiness. But true faith, faith unto salvation, is centered on the Lord Jesus Christ, faith in His doctrines and teachings, faith in the prophetic guidance of the Lord’s anointed, faith in the capacity to discover hidden characteristics and traits that can transform life. Truly, faith in the Savior is a principle of action and power.

We become what we want to be by consistently being what we want to become each day. Righteous character is a precious manifestation of what you are becoming. Righteous character is more valuable than any material object you own, any knowledge you have gained through study, or any goals you have attained no matter how well lauded by mankind. In the next life your righteous character will be evaluated to assess how well you used the privilege of mortality.

Neither Satan nor any other power can destroy or undermine your growing character. Only you could do that through disobedience. A sterling character is converted into worthless ashes when eroded by deceit or transgression.

Strong moral character results from consistent correct choices in the trials and testing of life. Such choices are made with trust in things that are believed and when acted upon are confirmed.

*Trust in God and in His willingness to provide help when needed, no matter how challenging the circumstance.

*Obedience to His commandments and a life that demonstrates that He can trust you.
*Sensitivity to the quiet promptings of the Holy Spirit.
*Courageous implementation of that prompting.
*Patience and understanding when God lets you struggle to grow and when answers come a piece at a time over an extended period.

“Faith is things which are hoped for and not seen; wherefore, dispute not because ye see not, for ye receive no witness until after the trial of your faith” (Ether 12:6). Thus, every time you try your faith—that is, act in worthiness on an impression—you will receive the confirming evidence of the Spirit. As you walk to the boundary of your understanding into the twilight of uncertainty, exercising faith, you will be led to find solutions you would not obtain otherwise. With even your strongest faith, God will not always reward you immediately according to your desires. Rather, God will respond with what in His eternal plan is best for you, when it will yield the greatest advantage. Be thankful that sometimes God lets you struggle for a long time before that answer comes. That causes your faith to increase and your character to grow.

I LOVE ELDER SCOTT! I know I'm not suppose to have a favorite... but I do anyway...
Maybe why that's why his talk helped me so much, because I like him so much, but I always feel like he says the things that I need to hear. Especially during hard and difficult times, he finds the perfect way to tell me that it's not going to get better, but it's worth it.

One of my favorite talks of all time is,  Trust in the Lord- Richard G. Scott. Nov 1995

"Just when all seems to be going right, challenges often come in multiple doses applied simultaneously. When those trials are not consequences of your disobedience, they are evidence that the Lord feels you are prepared to grow more. He therefore gives you experiences that stimulate growth, understanding, and compassion which polish you for your everlasting benefit. To get you from where you are to where He wants you to be requires a lot of stretching, and that generally entails discomfort and pain."

Trust in God, Then Go and Do. President Henry B. Eyring
You show your trust in Him when you listen with the intent to learn and repent and then you go and do whatever He asks. ('nuff said)

I am just so grateful for the guidance and peace that the gospel brings. I really have been having a rough time, and the gospel always makes me happy. With the stresses of life, it's the one thing that keeps me sane as I'm trying to figure out what is required of me.