Thursday, September 30, 2010

Honestly... WOW. Awesome.

So, I sure do love my IWA girls... Like a ton...

I love them. Granted, I haven't gotten close to all 40 of our girls, but I still love them so stinkin' much! We went canoeing tonight, and bonded over good/bad/first kiss stories. Baha, we are such girls, love it.

Honestly, I don't know why I'm in the Presidency, these girls are so amazing. Speaking of amazing, our Presidency is insanely awesome! I'm not even joking or exaggerating in ANY way. It amazes me that I associate with these girls.

My last post was kinda a lonely post... it definitely was a low day, but during our Chapter's Presidency Meeting, our Leader Sister Allan gave a "Leadership Thought". With such a large group, we want to make sure no one feels left out and feels included. We were challenged by Sister Allan to find "the one" each week who really needs us that day/week/semester/year/lifetime. This week, she talked about how sometimes being the leader and "Shepherd" can be lonely at times. Normally, when you think of someone who is the "leader" you would assume they were popular or had a lot of friends because everyone knew them, but she said something along the lines of, "If you are doing it right, you are going to have lonely moments. If you are trying to be a true leader, you will have times of loneliness." (AKA Attention Nichelle, this is for you!) "Christ was the ultimate finder of 'The One' and he experienced moments of loneliness we can't possibly understand. But, have comfort in the fact that you are helping on of God's children feel more of his love and to fully understand their individual worth and importance."

So, I guess I must be doing something right. I have a lot of responsibilities with my Stake, Ward and Institute callings, but I know it's because I have something special to offer. I'm not trying to sound proud or anything, I hope it doesn't come across that way. But, I think one of my strongest gifts is that I can find the importance of each individual. Maybe that's the only reason why I'm honored to be involved in my callings to the degree that I am. I can see people the way God wants us to look at each one of them. We all have so much to offer to each other, with all we meet.  Maybe it's because I use to be overlooked a lot, so I know what it feels like to feel insignificant. No one should EVER feel that way. But, that is where Godly Love comes in. If we are truly searching for those who need us, and if we are searching for the inner person with everyone we meet, then we will truly be able to see them as God see's them. Hopefully we can help them see themselves as God see's them also. Charity Never Faileth.

By helping others come unto Christ, we come closer to him also.

P.S. I'm soooo incredibly excited for General Conference this weekend.

Monday, September 27, 2010

Dear Friends, Put something in my Love Bucket, please! I'm runnin' out...

So, I feel like I should be on top of the world, but I'm not. I'm quite sad today. I'm not sure what it is. This week is going to be insane... 3 tests and 2 papers due, IWA Activity, IWA Meeting, Institute Choir Practice, CES Choir Practice, Women's Conference Choir Practice, my last week working 20 hours then I have to go down to 10 so I need to make sure I'm caught up on everything. (My parents make too much so I don't qualify for work study, but they wanted to keep me on but they only have enough in the budget to pay me for 10 hours a week.)

I have a million and a half friends that I know love and care for me but I feel really alone right now. Maybe I'm in a sulky mood because I talked about my life. Haha, okay that sounds really weird... Ummm... I saw my long lost high school buddy Walker, which made me very happy, but I caught him up on my life... which is great right now... but the past... hmmmm.... 2ish years have really stunk. I couldn't really tell him things in pieces so I had to spill everything... which included... being cheated on, stolen from, lied to, then being in my accident and the surgical mistake... I like happy things, and when I have to think about what I've gone through recently, well those aren't really happy things. I would much rather say I spent the last little bit sitting on top of a rainbow, eating ice cream and playing lacrosse which ninjas. But, no... I've had a pretty rough time lately. Not that everyone else hasn't... everyone is going through trials. I just... I need someone to help me realize it will be okay. It seems like I have more than enough friends when I'm happy and I can handle things, then the second I need someone there, everyone bails. I guess that's not really fair, because no one wants to be around a negative person, but I always try to be there for my friends during the good times AND the bad... And when I'm having good days, I feel people take and take from me, and I love giving... but I also have needs too.... I feel I give my whole self to everything I do, and never get my love bucket filled, it just gets taken from. (Apparently, it's a really big bucket because people seem to keep finding things to take) I don't have bad days very often... actually it's more like bad moments, never a full day... but, I feel I have no one. Maybe, I'm just being a silly girl. I dunno. BLAH.

I went for a drive today, because it was either go on a drive and cry... or sit at home alone and cry. I just had so much random emotion it needed to get out. I wanted to go on a walk, but I'm kinda scared to walk alone. I do live in Cache Valley, so I'm pretty safe... But, I just don't feel you should walk alone at night. Plus, I can't run away from danger. I do have massive biceps though and could probably punch out anyone, just kidding.... I wanted to go on a walk, but had no one to walk with so driving was the next best option. Anyway, going on my drive... it kinda helped... but not really. I'm not sure what to do, or how to best handle this. Maybe I just need to go to sleep and things will be better in the morning... But I'm sick of just fixing things for the time being... I want a good change to happen. All change can turn into good, I just would really like an obvious good change in my life. I'm blessed with many great things in my life, and I'm very blessed... I'm just in need of a little extra help right now... I know I'll be taken care of, I just don't know how...

I'll just get some sleep and maybe I'll be normal in the morning...

Oh life.

Saturday, September 25, 2010

Here you go Albert...

So, as a request from Albert Packer, I am blogging what happened today in reference to an earlier incident. My little sister and I were driving home from my Grandpa's 80th Birthday Party at Maddox. Nicole and I both had reasons to get home early. On the way home, there was this crazy, insane, rude Semi Truck Driver that was cutting people off and swerving around. He probably should've caused AT LEAST 15 accidents. So, I told Nicole to write down his information and we'd go online and comment on his driving to his company. But, the guy noticed us taking down his information, and started acting ridiculous. (Tailgating us, Flipping us off... etc.) Then we notice that he's texting, (WHILE DRIVING A SEMI) but wait... he's not texting, he's taking pictures of us. He would speed up to flip us off, close and personal style then drive by and take pictures. Cause he's a creeper. So, we call our dearest father, who, by the way, could kick the snot out of said truck driver, and asked what we should do. He gave us the number to report crime, but Nicole was too scared to call... and I was driving so we waited until we got home. Well, that number didn't work, so I found the Sheriff's number and called, (while trying to stay calm, and keep Nicole calm) and talked to this lady, who listened to my story... then I had to tell another lady... then an officer called me. I told him the story and that's about it.... Yeah... The driver was from Washington so unless they can find his Semi while he's still in Utah they can't do anything. But, it just creeped me out. I just had a horrible feeling... but I'm just grateful we're okay.

That my friends is the dramatic story of the day.

Moral of the Story: Don't drive like a retard and don't be a creeper and take pictures of young girls.

Wednesday, September 22, 2010


"So, what have you been doing since the spirit world?"

"Nichelle, if there was such a thing as a ten, you'd be it."

"While you were talking during Relief Society on Sunday, I couldn't help but notice how perfect your eyes, hair and freckles go together."

"Let's just take cardboard men to the girls choice."

Saturday, September 18, 2010

Lil' Blurp.

Life is good. I've got soooo much to do. But man, life is grand.

That is all.

Not that loving life is a small thing. But, yes, I love life. Y'all should try it sometime, that is, loving life... it's quite good for the soul, quite good.

Oh, and my best friend (My Oregon best friend...  don't get offended here in Utah. I love you all, my dear friends.), Rachel, is on her mission right now. She got on facebook (little stink) and changed her relationship status to complicated. Someone asked, "With Jesus?" Rachel replies, "You know it." Ladies and Gentlemen, may I introduce you to my best friend.... I miss her.

Saturday, September 11, 2010

To Err Is Human, To Forgive Divine

So, at Institute, every Friday, there's "Religion In Life." This past Friday, Nathan Ogden and his wife came to share their story.  Over 8 years ago, he was injured in a skiing accident, breaking his neck, leaving him paralyzed from the waist down. Then, shortly after that, he was in the hospital for chest x-rays when his wife couldn't wake him up one night, and the Doctor's broke his neck again, paralyzing him again, leaving his upper body almost completely paralyzed too.

As I was listening to his story, and him sharing his memories, I couldn't help but have flashbacks of my own accident. It took everything I had not to cry and break down right there. Not because what I have gone through the past 9 months has been so horrible, but because I was witnessing first hand, what my life could very easily could have been. My neck didn't break, but my back did, and where my back broke, and where his neck broke, is a matter of inches apart. I know that I should've died from my accident. I know that the only reason I'm here, is because I'm suppose to be. It really doesn't make sense why I'm here, but I'm sure glad that I am. Also, it's heart-wrenching to hear his story, and then, you hear about how the Doctor's mistake made it that much worse... It's just insane. I'm so incredibly grateful that I am still here, and I'm so very grateful, MY Doctor's mistake wasn't permanent. Yeah, I'm "paralyzed", but my nerve should regrow, but even if it doesn't. No one can really tell anymore because of my brace. And, it's only the bottom half of my leg, it's not like it's the bottom half of my body.

(For those of you who didn't know about this... there's a link to the right, titled, "The Accident" that explains everything.)

I've just been feeling very grateful for what I have. For those of you who were there on Friday, you know what I'm talking about when I say how touching this story was. But, for me, it struck a different chord. I think it goes to show, that the experiences we each individually go through can greatly effect those around us. In both positive and negative ways. Every choice we makes has an effect on many. Not just one. But, instead of focusing on the negative, it's always important to focus on the positive. I know that me going through this, will help many people. Don't get me wrong, it completely sucks, and I wish I had my old life back, but it could be worse. Brother Ogden, quoted this, (it's MY favorite quote, and is the thing that has gotten me through a lot this year) "Just when all seems to be going right, challenges often come in multiple doses applied simultaneously. When those trials are not consequences of your disobedience, they are evidence that the Lord feels you are prepared to grow more. He therefore gives you experiences that stimulate growth, understanding, and compassion which polish you for your everlasting benefit. To get you from where you are to where He wants you to be requires a lot of stretching, and that generally entails discomfort and pain." (...I suggest you read the whole talk, Trust in the Lord, Richard G. Scott. November 1995, Ensign)

I just wanted to say how grateful I was for this experience, and all experiences I've gone through. I'm so very blessed, and I never mean to take advantage of it. But, I'm human, and I do, so I apologize. I hope that I can be the person the Lord intends me to be. After all, that's the only reason why I'm still here, to do his work and to accomplish the tasks that only I can do. I'm scared, because I feel a lot is required of me, but it's also nice to be trusted that much. But, thank you all for being a part of my life, and to the many, many, many of you who have helped me this year, I owe you more than you'll ever know. I love my Savior, and I feel so blessed to have him in my life. No matter who you are, or what you believe, we all need extra help, and I have found that through my faith. Without it, I would be nothing.

I hope you all have SAFE and happy life's. Please, learn from what I've gone through, because I don't want anyone else to deal with this. I'm working on getting over it still, but, the simple fact is, I have a daily reminder of what I lost, how much pain I've been through, and still experience, and how long my journey is ahead. But, we all also have daily reminders of the blessings and tender mercies that we all individually receive. If you are going through hard times, remember to have faith, hope and to look forward. It may be overwhelming, and you may feel like you can't handle it, and you can do no more, but you can. I promise. You can.

Monday, September 6, 2010


It's definitely harder having your girl best friends be on missions then your boy best friends... Blahghspladablajuuussssshhhhhhhh.... bah.

I now will be accepting applications for the position(s) of: best friend and random spontaneous activity buddy.

Life is good... I've just been thinking a lot lately... had a lot of stuff on my mind...

I think too much...

Saturday, September 4, 2010

Immense JOY!

PLEASE WATCH THIS VIDEO- It's exactly how I feel... :D

Okay, I'm so incredibly blessed. I can't understand what I did to deserve this. Honestly, my life is heavenly right now. School started this week, others may complain... but, I've been so excited! I guess when you're forced NOT to do something, it makes you realise how much it blessed you. I love school. Sometimes, I'm a slacker, but I really do love it. I can't even process my thoughts well enough about this week to convey how blessed I feel. Seriously, it's been amazing. I've been soooooooo busy, but, I don't care how stressed I feel, it's amazing! GAH! Words. I wish I could just bottle up how I feel right now, and let you all feel a little peice of it!

This week has been so insane! But in the BEST way possible! I'm kinda nervous though, I don't feel adequate enough for all that is required of me, but I'm willing to try my darndest. First, I have a new calling, I feel a little overwhelmed about it. (I can't tell you what it is yet... Muhahaha) Then school started, and I forgot how much time it takes, lol, but that should be great! But, I've been so worried about what I was going to do after September, because the grant that is paying for my job was going to run out at the end of September. But, my bosses came up to me this week and offered to have me stay throughout the school year! GAH! I'm sooo glad they wanted me to stay, and found a way to keep me! Then IWA, oh man, this year is going to rock! I'm so excited for everything we have planned! We have the BEST group! And so many people want to join our chapter, I definitely feel like we are finding those girls who truly need what our presidency has to offer! It's going to be great! MY SOUL DELIGHTETH! Gah, I have so much to do! I love you all! I love life! I love being needed! I love everything! I LOVE LOVE LOVE! So awesome.

I feel soooooo blessed!!!!