Tuesday, January 25, 2011

I don't mean to neglect this blog...

So... Sorry... I never post... but ya know... I'm busy...

Here on some things that have been on my mind:
* I'm tired of people asking if I'm better, and they are disappointed when I say no...
What am I suppose to do, eh?
* I want to run. Like, really run.
* I'm a complainy pants.
* I can't believe it's been a year...
* I want...uh NEED to get out of my rut.
* I think people need to not be so rude to me.
* I get depressed. Deal with it.
* I like being by myself at times, sometimes I just need to cry.
* I'm sick of guys who stop liking me after they realise I'm "broken".
* I'm NOT broken.
* Any boy would be lucky to have me, too bad they can't see that.
* I'm glad my foot isn't getting worse.
* I'm grateful my trial isn't very hard... but sometimes I just want it to end.
* I hate when people say, "They're lame,"
* I've noticed how much society ignores the needs of others, and how daily language and phrases can be really insulting without any mean intentions. It's crazy.
* Don't expect me to be perfect.
* I'm insecure.
* I'm confident.
* I've learned a lot, and overcomed more than I thought I would.
* I've had to learn to not rely on people again, they think it's easy now, but this stage is harder than any other one I've gone through, through this whole thing.
* I rely on my Savior.
* When people think I'm not doing enough, I remind myself that I'm doing all I can, cry, and keep going.
* I like who I am.
* I've got a lot about myself right now I can't stand, but I'm dealing with it.
* I feel bad that my family has to deal with me.
* Sometimes, I want to punch people in the face who are jerks.
* Sometimes, I wish I had one, true, best friend.
* I'm glad I have a gazillion friends.
* I'm tired all the time.
* I'm on depression medicine, and that weirds me out.
* I don't like being weak.
* Ice Cream fixes my problems.
* I'm glad I have a fast metabolism.
* I'm content with how my life is going be...
* Sometimes, I wish someone would just be there.
* I'm sick of people leaving me.
* I'm excited for the day, this is in the past...

My life is so hard right now,
I'm not sure how much more I can handle, but....

I wouldn't change my life for anything.


  1. Aw. Hey. Chin up.
    Just so you know, if you ever need to talk or rant or whatever, you know you can Facebook me whenever you want.
    You're fabulous.
    <3/ Lindsey

  2. Nichelle- I've told you this before, but I wish we could be real life friends. I've had debilitating back problems for almost 10 years now (still waiting to see if my most recent surgery fixed anything) and feel like I'm reading my own thoughts in a lot of the things you've posted here. ESPECIALLY in this post. like every. single. thing.

    Sister, I'm praying for you right now. Praying for strength and courage. You are an inspiration. Keep your chin up. :)

  3. I am on depression medicine too (this is Charles Sim from FB by the way), so I know what it's like if you want/need someone to talk to. I have been on meds for about 14-15 years now.

  4. Nichelle my dear. the best advice my mom ever gave me.. Was GOD LOOOOOVES BROKEN things or else there wouldnt be that many of us. I am broken in a different way than you. But i know what you mean..

  5. Do you know that you're the coolest, most awesome, talented, beautiful, happy, perfectly imperfect girl in the world? Seriously, when I grow up, I want to be Nichelle.

    Your life is perfectly imperfect.

  6. You are a breathe of fresh air! Seriously, you have a way of saying what the rest of us want to but don't.

  7. I completely agree with Jenny^! Nichelle, I love you. Thank you for posting this! I also love what Ashley said. Do you know a song called "Lord of the Small"? If you haven't heard it, you should look it up. It's beautiful. It talks about how we all need Heavenly Father and we are all handicapped in some way, and yet He still loves us and accepts our praise, even though it is small and "lisping." Nichelle, you are truly and amazing woman and I completely agree: It's too bad boys don't realize how amazing you are... at least you haven't found one yet. And they are all stupid because they can't see how incredible you are. But you will find someone who CAN see it. I promise. Especially because it's not that hard. I love you!

  8. Adventures in Baby Getting (Lindsay Logic) nominated me for a blog award, and I was told to give this award to 5 other bloggers I thought deserved it, and you are one of my five. Now you need to nominate 5, but go to my blog to read the rules :0)

  9. Dude, guys will always throw your to emotional crap at you. I have had several boyfriends that I was with for alonggg time and then one day threw it in my face. I got to the point where straight up I was like yeah, so sometimes Im an emoitnal mess and so thats your warning bc I dont want to hear about it later on. And the first guy I said it to...is the one I married. As far as being bummed out its totally normal. I have everything I could want and yet I cry and trust me I would like to bop a few people too um actually more then a few. Your not alone sista! Some people just hide it better then others!


  10. you are so great! thanks for sharing this blog with us! Yeah for Bloggy BFF's

  11. Thank you. I've had cerebral palsy since I was born, leaving me with a slight limp and no fine motor skill in my left arm, so I can relate. I hope you reach the day that this is in the past soon.

  12. Nichelle this is Meisha. I can't even begin to tell ii how strong I think you are! You are an amazing person! I'm here if you ever need anything just text me my number is on facebook in case you don't have it...plus I'm not far from you so I can come steal you sometime if you want!

  13. I am so glad that you can be open and honest with your frustrations, Nichelle. In my eyes, you're not broken. You've been through something most people couldn't possibly understand and I can't imagine how difficult it must be to feel like you have no one who understands. If you want to be a complainy pants around me, you are allowed. I will try to stop saying "lame" in your honor. And I would love to be there for you...even if it's just to eat ice cream and then take a nap <3 I miss you, Nichelle.

  14. YOU. ARE. INCREDIBLE. SERIOUSLY. I don't think you realize what an inspiration you are to SOOO many people! You are beautiful, talented, HILARIOUS, down to earth, virtuous, BRAVE, and pretty much every good adjective there is. Life throws some nasty curve balls sometimes, but think of how much stronger you'll be when you come out of this. Heavenly Father gives us struggles to help us to grow, like a butterfly struggling to get out of it's cocoon. Once she emerges, she is the BEAUTIFUL, AMAZING MIRACLE that Heavenly Father so carefully and lovingly made her to be. :) Hang in there, chin up, Sist'a!

  15. This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

  16. Girl, I think I could copy mostly everything you said in this post and it would be true for me as well. Just keep your head up...keep being vintage AWESOME and keep your life in God's hands. This is only a tiny stamp in time and you have many more to come. Stay up buttercup!

    Retrohipmama from SHE's CRAFTY!

  17. You inspire me. I wish we could hang out in person cuz I would give you a great big hug everyday!