Friday, August 20, 2010



Okay, so life is being a little ridiculous right now. I'm getting a little sick of just having to deal with things. I'm sorry to vent, but I don't know what else to do and this might make me feel better. I just, gah, really? Really? Life is trying to suck more. Haven't I been through enough? I'm pretty sure I deserve a break. Yes, yes I do. I'm completely awesome, I've worked my freakin tail off the past 8 months to stay afloat. I dunno, I thought I would've cracked a long time ago. I'm tough, I've been through so much. I deserve a little happiness. I'm not expecting a lot, just a little happiness. I know life is what you make it, and I know in an hour I'll probably be fine and I'll be laughing my head off at something that really isn't that funny. But, I deserve more than that. I deserve to be happy. Gah. I dunno. This is not making sense. I'm just sooooo stressed and all these little things keep adding up, which makes the load I have to carry even harder. I'm just tired. I need a break. I've spent my whole life helping people, and making sure everyone else was okay, even if that meant things sucked for me. I want it to be my turn. I'd do anything to make the people around me happy, why isn't there anyone like that for me? Just seems kinda cheap. After going through all of this, I've learned that it's good and okay to ask for help. I kinda have to now, always ask for help, and that's a good thing. But now, all the support is gone, and this is just when things are getting harder. I need a little help. Just a little, I'm use to none, so a little will go a long long long way.



Okay, on the bright side, work was fun. It was actually really nice because I was having a hard day, but apparently it was "Compliment Nichelle Day". That helped. A lot. I like being told how creative I am, how well I do things and how fast I get things done. Actually, all of my employers have loved me. Not to tute my own horn, but I do catch on fast, and I do work fast, and my work is awesome. TUTE TUTE! Nichelle is awesome. Heh. Not really. But, I do try to do my best. I'm definately not the worker I use to be. I can't handle 4 jobs anymore. But, yeah. I'm okay. Just kinda sick of crappy things happening to me. But, school is starting soon. That will be a nice change. I still have to find a job, the grant that is paying for me at my current job ends at the end of September. But, anyway...I can't wait to make new friends, meet new people and take on new challenges. This is a MUCH needed change.

Oh yeah, I get to sing in church on Sunday! Yay! I love singing. I hope I do okay. Blah... I love singing, but that doesn't mean people love hearing me sing....

(Sorry if there are lots of typo's----I'm pretty sure that's the fastest I've ever typed anything... It really was a vent... maybe I'll come back and edit it later... or not... I dunno... but sorry if it is hard to read)

1 comment:

  1. Vent anytime! And you are awesome. If I was nearer to you I would bring you a cookie and say, "Nichelle, you are awesome!" And then Braxton would grin at you and think you were cool. Yup.